When I first heard the news that Michael Jackson had passed on from this life, my first instinct was to respond with mocking cynicism. Indeed, it was the first reaction of many of my friends. I have no great love lost in that guy. He was pretty strange, to put it mildly. The constant controversy around him concerning his sexuality, his weird obsession with children, and other things, were enough to turn my stomach on more than one occasion. To tell the truth, at first I felt a bit relieved that he would no longer be around in a world that couldn't help but stare in wonder and amazement at such an odd spectacle of humanity. However, something nagged at me persistently until I eventually took the time to really analyze my attitude in all of this. Indeed, God seemed to be trying to get something through to my thick skull once again.

Put aside all the reservations that I'm sure you have about the perverse lifestyle Mr. Jackson has led. No doubt, there was something deeply wrong inside the heart of that one. I would even ask you to put aside any excuses you may give him for his behavior - perhaps his screwed up family life and confused awareness of his sexuality or race. Put all of that aside, and what you have is a man. When I really sit down and think about it, I cannot help but realize that I truly have no right to judge such a man. Indeed, it wasn't all that long ago that I was dead in my own delusions and sin, and in desperate need of a savior. When it comes down to it, is that man really so different than you or I? Is he any less in need of a savior? Is my savior, Jesus Christ, any less capable of bringing Michael Jackson out of his own sin and into forgiveness just like he did for me? I think not. The Bible tells us that sin is sin, and all sin is deserving of death. It doesn't matter what you think about the type of sin being committed, what matters is that without the saving grace of Christ, we are all the same, we are all deserving of death.

My belief is that there are eternal ramifications for the decisions that we make while we are on this earth. I also believe that God loves everyone of us, and desires for all of us to be reunited in relationship with Him. The fruits of his life would suggest that Michael Jackson was unlikely to have accepted and therefore been transformed into the new creation that happens when we give our lives to Christ. Of course, that is not for me to say with any real certainty, because the only heart that I am really capable of knowing is my own. I merely am going by what the evidence suggests. So with the evidence indicating the unlikelihood of Mr. Jackson's salvation, I cannot help but be deeply saddened by the loss of yet another one of God's creations to the designs of the evil one. Sure, one could argue that perhaps the world is better off without this person around who created such a spectacle of his own sin. Perhaps that is even true; maybe it is better for the rest of us that he is gone. But I cannot help but reminded of this fact - that he was a man, that God loved him, and loved him just as much as he loves you and me. I have been reminded of this fact over and over again as I analyze how I interact with the rest of the world. I have come to realize that my reasons for looking down on those who society views as the lowest of the low are unjust and impure. We aren't that much different, the child molester, murderer, rapist, and I. We all need Christ, and because of that, I must be constantly be putting on a garment of compassion for my fellow human beings who are struggling in this life, struggling with sin, just as I am.

So I'm back in PA right now, on a rather spur-o-the-moment inclination to visit my home state. I must say, I am quite glad to be here for a spell. I'm finding that the timing couldn't have been more perfect. The glory of Pennsylvania spring has been wonderful to behold, with the hills and mountains looking greener than ever. The sight of my dear friends and family has been refreshing for my soul, and although I have been so far quite busy working to make a little coin, I'm feeling relaxed and refreshed already, and I still have two and a half weeks to go!

On a side note, when I spoke of green hills and mountains, I was inspired to fire up Pandora and turn on my Celtic radio station. Good shiite, to coin my favorite Irish vulgarity. Ahhh I want to live in Ireland someday...

I'm looking forward to spending this weekend camping with my family. I can't even begin to explain how happy this makes me. Not only am I glad to have the opportunity for multiple campfire conversations catching up and swapping stories, I haven't had the chance for a real camping weekend since before I left to move to New Orleans. Now I know, some of you are thinking, what about Creation? But come on, seriously, that's never exactly a relaxing and refreshing experience. Fun, yes, but exhausting. Also, I'll get a chance to visit with some of my favorite people, as the campground we are headed to is only a hopskip away from State College.

On a serious note, one of my goals while I am home is to hit the floor with some serious prayer on what direction my life will be heading in the near future. I believe that this summer will likely close a season of my life, and I'm preparing for something new. What that will be is almost entirely up in the air. I've had some ideas and aspirations, but I need to bring it all to God in humility and seek his guidance. I think this weekend is going to be a perfect opportunity for that. There's nothing like communing with the Creator in the midst of His beautiful creation.

Well this isn't much of an update, but I've had so much rattling around in this confused brain of mine that I am still trying to sort through it all. Dreams for the future, the struggles of the present, contemplations of the past - all these things have become jumbled and make it difficult to focus. Still, I know that God has me just where He wants me, and I know He's got a purpose for me. Despite being slightly unfocused and confused, I feel a fire in me growing ever stronger. Everything that has been up until now has just been preparation for tomorrow, and who knows what tomorrow could bring? Each day my love grows stronger, and each day I learn once again what it is to place my hopes, fears, anger, and tears in Him.